Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Craigslist: Lost in Peru

While poking around the internet today, I decided to go to my favorite random crap website ever: CRAIGSLIST! It took me less than 10 seconds to strike gold.

Found in the Community > Artists section was an ad provocatively titled, "5 years stranded in the Peru jungle". It's exactly what you think it is.

So this person is claiming they've been lost in the Peru/Amazon jungle for half a decade/ Ok, that's possible both geographically and humanly. They want an idea or help with publishing their story. If I were stuck and a jungle for five years, I'd want to tell everyone about it too.

This seems somewhat newsworthy. Why haven't I seen this in the local news. I mean, a dude disappear for  five years and returns and nothing? Seems rude.

The writers gives a few details about a lack of work history. Well no shit, I didn't expect someone wandering a jungle to be maintaining their income taxes and emails from the management. And a lack of ID seems strange. How'd he get back in the country? Swim? Pull some of that fancy Puerto Rican crap and then hitchhike back to St. Louis. Honestly if I were him, I'd say screw this and go somewhere not Missouri. People from Missouri will understand that.

"Obviously suffering from psychological issues..." is a pretty strange way to say it. Maybe, "I'm having a hard time readjusting." No one suffering from mental trauma of any sort uses the word "Obviously" because it's not obvious. It's in your head.

And my cherry on the cake. Lol. No really, lol. This dude is complaining about psychological issues and having a hard time with people speaking English around him and he uses LOL. What is happening? I'm not saying that five years ago, they didn't use the shortcut, but it seems mildly innapropriate for the situation.

Whelp, I'm not gonna lie but I'm not biting. People who come out of the jungle after being missing for 5 years don't crash at their friend's houses in a place like Saint Louis. They go on Oprah and sleep in the NYC streets. And seriously, lol? Screw it, I'm gonna go find other crap to make fun of.

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